#7: Confidence Is Not What You Think It Is: The Real Guide to Building It From the Inside Out — Even When No One Around You Believes in You Yet

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Welcome and get ready to embark on the journey of a lifetime with your host, Kamara, motivational speaker and certified professional life coach for women. With over 20 years of experience as a life coach, healthcare executive, and mother of two, Kamara shares her own story while providing expert insights and building self-confidence and resilience, while overcoming fears and breaking down self-defeating mindsets. Subscribe now to Kamara Speaks and begin your journey of transformation to becoming the woman you want to be and living the life you want and deserve.

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Hello, ladies, and welcome back. Welcome back to another episode of Kamara Speaks, and I am your host, Kamara. And I just want to thank you for being here today. I know it's been a few weeks since we've last gotten together to connect about the important work we're doing and some of the topics that we've been discussing and that are important to you. But I want you to know that I've been working really hard behind the scenes to put something together that is really special, and it's coming towards the end of this year, and I'm going to share some more details about it at the end of the episode. So please tune in, buckle up your seatbelt if you're on the road, go grab that latte or coffee if you're sitting at home listening to this, and let's dive in. Today we're going to talk about confidence and that it's not what you think it is. So let me paint you a picture. There is a woman sitting in a meeting, and she has a brilliant idea. She can feel it. It's good. She knows it's good. But she waits. She turns it over in her mind, edits it, second guesses it, and then three minutes later, someone else says something similar. The room responds. They nod, they engage, they build on it, and she sits there quietly thinking, I was gonna say that. I had that thought. Why didn't I say it? Or maybe you recognize this one. A new opportunity comes along, a promotion, a business idea, a chance to step into something bigger, and before you've even fully absorbed the possibility, a voice inside you starts listing the reasons why you're not ready. Why it's not the right time, why someone else would be better suited, why you should wait until you're more qualified, more prepared, more certain. That voice That, ladies, I can tell you is not wisdom. And it's not discernment. That is the absence of confidence. And it has cost you all this time and women like you more than you could even probably measure it's cost us. Opportunities passed over, words left unspoken, dreams placed quietly on a shelf labeled someday. So here we are again today, talking about what matters most and what we need to do in this life to move forward. So we're going to talk about what confidence actually is and what it's absolutely not, how to build it from the ground up step by step, how to keep building it even when the people around you aren't cheering you on, and how to make it yours, not borrowed, not performed, not contingent, on anyone else's approval, and truly, deeply sustainably yours. So let's break this up in parts. Part one, what confidence actually is and what it isn't. I want to start here because I think most of us are chasing the wrong thing. We have a mental image of a confident woman that looks a very specific way, and that image is honestly doing us a lot of harm. So let's dismantle it. So let's first talk about what confidence is not. Confidence is not the absence of fear, and this might be the most common and most damaging misconception. We see someone step onto a stage or make a bold decision or speak their truth in a difficult room or a room full of people, and we think, well, they must not be afraid. They must just know they have that aura about them. And we compare that imagined inner state to our own very real, very present fear. Because that's what we do all the time, right? We compare. And then we conclude that we are simply just not confident people. But here is what's actually true. Almost every person you have ever looked at and thought she's so confident has been afraid. They just didn't let the fear be the deciding vote. And confidence is not the absence of fear, it is being afraid. It's being afraid and making the decision to move forward anyway. Number two, confidence is not arrogance. Arrogance is the need to be seen as superior. And we all know that we've encountered those people in life. It comes from insecurity, from a deep need to establish your worth by elevating yourself above others. Genuine confidence has no need for that. A truly confident woman does not need to make anyone feel smaller to feel big, and she does not need to dominate a conversation to know that she has something worth saying or something important to share. Or she doesn't need to be the loudest person in the room to feel valued or important. Confidence and humility are not opposites, because as I've mentioned in earlier episodes, two things can be true at the same time. The most confident women I have ever worked with are also the most genuinely curious, humble, and the most open people that I know. What else? Confidence is not certainty. You do not have to know how something will turn out to take the step. You do not have to have all of the answers to raise your hand. And you do not need to have eliminated all possible risk before you begin. And we've talked about that before, calculated risk. So waiting for certainty before acting, that's not caution, that's avoidance. And that's part of what we go through as women because we tend to lean back on that caution to think that that's the safer option. But that will keep you frozen indefinitely because certainty is in most situations is simply not available. Confidence is also not a personality type. You are not born confident or not confident in some fixed permanent way. And introversion is not the same as low confidence. Quietness does not define confidence either. Quietness is not the same as self-doubt. Being reserved does not mean you lack belief in yourself, you're just reserved. These are temperament traits, and they are not your relationship with your own worth. Confidence can be built by anyone. Let me state that again. Hear this clearly. Confidence can be built by anyone. And why is that? It's because confidence is not a feeling, it is a practice. So let's talk about what confidence actually is. Real confidence is a relationship. Specifically, it is the relationship that you have with your own competence, your own judgment, and your own worth. It is knowing and not perfectly, not always, but reliably that you can handle what comes. That you have resources, that you have dealt with the hard things before and again you will do it and you will deal with those hard things over and over. That you do not need the outcome to be guaranteed in order to begin. I know for myself in my life, I have always seemed to want it to know the outcome. What's the return on investment? What is the possible outcomes that I need to try to avoid? And sometimes you just don't have the answers. Not everything is going to be able to be laid out perfectly in a in a roadmap. It's just trusting yourself to know that you're going to handle it regardless of what comes. Confidence is self-self-trust in action. And I'll say that again. And when I say it again, ladies, take note, write it down, bookmark it, I don't know, make a mental note because you need to copy and write down these nuggets. Confidence is self-trust in action. Okay. What does that mean? It means that it's the accumulation of a thousand small moments where you chose to believe in yourself, even slightly, even imperfectly, over the voice that told you not to. I'll say that again. It is a thousand small moments where you chose to believe in yourself, even if slightly, over the voice that told you not to. It is built the same way all of trust is built through consistent, repeated follow-through. You do the thing you said you would do, and like we talked about before, you begin to trust yourself. You show up for yourself, you take the small risk, and over time you compile the evidence in your own self. Over time you begin to trust yourself because it's real. You've lived it and you've embodied that evidence. And you are someone that you realize you can count on. We have to be able to count on our own selves the same way sometimes we count on people, the same way other people count on us. So confidence is also deeply connected to identity. It is not just I believe I can do this thing, it is I am the kind of woman who does these things. I'm the kind of woman who does things like this. The shift from action to identity is where confidence stops being something you reach for in nerve-wracking moments when you're trying to convince yourself when you don't think you can and you're trying to talk yourself into it. Confidence is when you stop being so it stops being something that you reach for, but something that you carry with you all the time. So I want you to write something down if you can, a big nugget. And here it is. Confidence it is what happens when I keep showing up for myself, even especially when I'm afraid. Because that is the truth of it. And every step that we take today is about building that not the performance, but the reality, the reality of you showing up for yourself. Okay. So with all that said, let's dive into why so many women struggle with confidence. Why is what I'm saying and talking about today so hard for us to not just conceptualize, but actually act upon? Why is it so difficult for us to trust ourselves, right? And to take those moments on when we're unsure and it's not certain, why is it so hard for us to take those calculated risks? So before we go into how to build the confidence, I think it's essential that we understand why it's hard for so many of us to even access it. Because if you've been blaming yourself thinking that other women simply have something that you don't, I need you to hear this clearly that this struggle is not random and it's not personal. It's structural. So the confidence gap that we talk about is real, but it's manufactured. Study after study shows that women consistently underestimate their abilities, while men consistently overestimate theirs. And no offense to any men, because I do think I do have a few men listeners out there, no offense to you, so just take it in stride because, like I said, studies have proven this. So we underestimate our abilities, men overestimate, and both groups perform at roughly the same level. Women apply for jobs like I've talked about before only when they meet 100% of the listed qualifications. Men apply when they meet 60. And at that same time, women seem to attribute their success to luck, timing, and help from others. And men attribute theirs to their skill and intelligence. This is not biology. This is the result of a lifetime of receiving very specific messages about what women can expect when they step into their power. Girls who are assertive get labeled bossy. Girls who are ambitious get told they're too much. And girls who make mistakes are told it's because they weren't careful enough. While boys who make the same mistakes are told it's just part of the learning curve. The feedback loop is profoundly different, and it shapes our internal world in ways we often don't even recognize. And I know we've talked about it before, but I'm just reiterating some of those points because it directly correlates to the confidence and the self-trust that you have in yourself. That phrase that we are our own worst enemies and our own worst critics is so true. And the sad truth is that most women carry an inner critic that is incredibly vicious, far worse than anything they would ever say to a friend, a child, or even a stranger. And it catalogs failures and minimizes wins all the time while interpreting ambiguous situations as evidence of inadequacy. It preemptively imagines rejection, failure, and humiliation in full, vivid detail, and uses those imagined futures as reasons not to try. Where in your head you have already depicted what the outcome is and seen it as a loss or a failure and why the situation will not warrant whatever action you need to take, and therefore you are going to put that idea aside because you're not even going to try, because you will fail and it's not even worth it. This inner critic is not your authentic voice. It is not truth telling. It is the internalized voice of every experience, person, and system that ever made you feel like you were not enough. It is that old projection dressed up as wisdom, and while it once may have served a purpose, keeping you safe from the wiles of your environment and from certain kinds of rejection, and sometimes it may seem like it's doing you a favor by stopping you from being humiliated or preventing disappointment, but it has long since overstayed its welcome. And I can tell you that it is doing you a disservice today. We are living in an era of curated highlight reels. We scroll through images of other women's success and beauty and ease and abundance, and we compare it to the unglamorous, uncertain, messy interior of our own lives. And of course, when we look at these things and we make these comparisons, we come up short. And then we have these thoughts and we make these assumptions and we have these situations that we create in our head, and we're comparing our insides to their outsides, our rough draft to their finished product, and our Monday morning to their Saturday afternoon. And this competition that goes on in our heads, it's designed to be unwinnable. And every time we engage in it, we drain our confidence more and more from the core. And I'm telling you that all of this is not so that you think that you are hopeless or that you've been doing the quote unquote wrong thing all this time. But it's so you feel less alone and realize that we've all experienced it, and most of us as women, we experience it all the time. And it's difficult to stop. It's difficult to see the pattern by itself, but it's difficult to take action and stop right there. And so that you understand that this is all important because building confidence isn't a matter of fixing something wrong with you. It's a matter of actively and intentionally countering a whole system of messages that has been working against you and for most of your life. And that is where the real work begins. It's important and it's absolutely possible. You have to understand that everything that I'm talking about is possible. That's the first step is belief. Belief that it's possible. So when I share these things, it's not to point, it's not to say that you've been doing something wrong. It's to share with you that most women today are experiencing this regardless of what you see on the outside. And some that may seem like they have all the confidence in the world, sometimes they don't. And those that do have already done this work. They've realized what they need to do to build up their confidence and trust themselves again and take action. So that's what we're gonna talk about now. The part that we've been building toward. I'm gonna take you through this carefully because I don't believe that handing you a list of tips and sending you on your way is enough. So we're gonna go slow and we're gonna talk about it in layers, one by one. So, layer one, you need to audit your evidence. Your brain is doing something right now that it does constantly. It's building a case. The question is, what case is it building? For most women who struggle with confidence, the brain has been building a case against them their whole entire life. It has been collecting evidence of every mistake, every rejection, every moment of falling short, and largely ignoring the vast body of evidence that tells a different story. Because I guarantee we all have successes and wins too, right? But those don't tend to be the ones that flock to the front of our mind. And those don't tend to be the ones that we think about when we're trying to make decisions of action. So the first action step we need to take in building confidence is to deliberately, consciously audit our evidence. So get a notebook and divide a page into two columns. And if you're driving, just bookmark this right here, because this you can do later at any time. So two columns in the notebook. On the left, write down every hard thing you've ever done, every obstacle you've cleared, and every time you've figured it out, every difficult conversation you survived, and every time you were scared and did it anyway. Every time the bottom dropped out and you got back up. Because the hard things are the things that pulled you through. We've all gone through the hard things. But the point is that do we remember them or do do we just remember the times we've fallen? Because those aren't hard times that we just necessarily went through. Maybe that was just a hard ship, something that caused us a setback. But what about the hard times that you pulled through? And then on the right side of the page, I want you to put down what that tells you about who you are. So all those things that you have gone through, those obstacles you have overcome, what is that saying about yourself? Because those are the thoughts you don't hold on to. Those are the things you don't remember when the next thing comes up that you're thinking about doing. Doing or taking action against? So let's talk about that. And let's think about it. What are those things that you're proud of? And what are those things that you pull through that you can actually write down and anchor on? What capacity does it demonstrate? What skill does it show that you have? And this is not quote unquote positive thinking. I don't want you to we're not to fabricate, right? This is not just writing out a list of all the things that we think we do right. This is breaking down the evidence to say, okay, these are the things I've done, and this is what it says about me. And the reason we're writing it down is because this exercise makes it visible. You can see it, you can touch it, and hopefully it starts to stick. So do this thoroughly and intentionally and don't rush. Give yourself at least 30 minutes and more if you can to sit down and really take time to break down the evidence of the goals that you've achieved and the things you've overcome. This is not a quick list. This is intentional thinking. And the reason I'm asking you to write it is because we need to sometimes write it down to train our brain to intentionally think about these things more often. So we're going to try to create that habit. The goal is to shift the internal narrative from I don't know if I can do this, to I have done the hard things. This is a hard thing. And therefore, this is within my range. I can do this. Layer number two. Start taking confident bets. Why do we always have to wait until we're ready? You're never really going to feel ready. Well, uh let me rephrase that. You sometimes will. But most often, you're not gonna be like, you know what, I am so ready for this. Maybe a vacation. But a lot of times the hard things or the things that we're uh debating on whether to take action on, no, uh, we're not jumping into those things a lot of times. So the truth is that the confidence building industry that we're talking about does not say often enough, you do not build confidence and then just take action. You take action and confidence is the byproduct. So the intentional thinking about what you need to do and taking the action and intentionally thinking I can do this is what builds the confidence. But you gotta do that first. Confidence is not the prerequisite for doing the brave thing, it's the reward for having done it. So you gotta do it, ladies. And this means that the strategy is not to wait until you feel confident enough. It's not to wait until you feel ready. The strategy is to begin before you feel ready, in the small, deliberate ways that we've talked about, and then let the doing of it be the proof that you can do it, and then hence the confidence build. The confidence comes from you taking the action. And these are what I call confidence bets. So they're the small, specific, time-bound actions that require you to stretch slightly beyond your comfort zone. The key is that they're small enough that you can actually do them, but meaningful enough to register. So these are the small actions that you're going to intentionally do throughout the day, throughout the week. They're going to help you build the confidence because you have written down the evidence and proof that you've gone through the hard things and you can do it. Let's talk about some examples. They could be speaking up once in a meeting where you would normally stay quiet, even it's just to agree with something or ask a clarifying question. The truth is just ask the question. A lot of times other people in the room had the same question, and I found that out over time myself. It's sending also an email that maybe you've been drafting and redrafting for two weeks, and you're trying to wait till it's perfect, or you're waiting for the perfect time to send it, so just send it. Send it before it's perfect. Don't wait. It'll never be perfect. Just send it. Another example is introducing yourself to someone new in a professional or personal setting. So if it's at work, maybe introducing yourself to a new colleague, a new team member that may be working within or in another department. Or in your personal life, maybe going to a social event or meeting up with friends of friends and walking up to a stranger, someone that may be in a peer group that you don't know and just striking up some conversation. Another example could be sharing a piece of work or writing or an idea with someone that you trust that sometimes you may not want to share because you don't want to hear what they have to say about your idea because maybe they won't like it, or they'll poke holes in it or criticize it. But that doesn't define you, does it? We're not looking for other people's approval as we talked about. So maybe it's just sharing something because you're happy about it, and hoping that the person that you trust is happy too. And like I've said in previous episodes, if they're not happy for you, then what does that say about them? It doesn't say anything about you. And then another example could be asking for something you need without pre-apologizing for the ask. And that's a whole separate episode, which I think I've touched on, but it's insane, ladies, how much we apologize. But I won't go down that hole, that rabbit hole. Okay. So getting back to these small examples, the size of the bet, the confidence bet that we're talking about, the size of the bet does not matter. What matters is that you took the action step. Because every confidence bet you've bet that you follow through on adds a brick to the foundation. Everyone you back away from removes one. You're either building bricks or you're removing them. So when you talk about foundation and structure to what you're building upon as you continue to move forward in building up your confidence, it's based on the bets you take, right? It's based on the action steps. So just take them. Layer number three, and I told you there's a bunch of layers, so bear with me. Layer number three is to change your body to change your mind. Confidence is not only a mental exercise, but it is an experience of a physical kind. And your body is not just a vehicle for your brain, it's a constant conversation that you have with your brain, sending signals upward that shape your emotional and psychological state. And this means that how you hold yourself, how you move, how you breathe, how you present yourself physically has a direct impact on how confident you feel internally. And I talk a lot about this in a lot of my um career coaching when you present and how you dress and feel at work, and how you physically present yourself when you are in a professional setting, and it makes a difference. So I know it sounds like it's superficial, but I want you to think about the fact that a lot of what I'm talking out about is backed by substantial research and studies. And it's something that every woman at one point in time has experienced. And whether she wants to name it or not, deep down inside, somewhere in herself subconscious, she knows that she has. So you know how different it feels to walk into a room with your shoulders back versus hunched forward. You know the difference between a slow, deliberate breath before a hard conversation, and a shallow, rapid breathing that precedes panic. So before you go through any high-stakes situation or a difficult conversation or a presentation or a meeting or some type of confrontation maybe with someone that you have to have a conversation with, take two minutes alone and stand tall. Take three to five slow deep breaths, roll your shoulders back, lift your chin, and feel the ground underneath your feet as you stand tall. And this is not performing, ladies, because I told you we're not performing. This is a physical exercise. It's an experience of you straightening up and building the confidence physically on the outside as you mentally and deliberately talk to yourself and build the self-trust on the inside. And it's important because this physiological exercise is preparation for the confident action. In addition to standing tall, speak more slowly than what feels natural. We are normally socialized to speak quickly, often to signal that we're not trying to take up space or too much time. So slow speech is perceived by others and by our own brain as authority. And so that's something that we actually need to practice, because I try to do that myself, and sometimes I talk too fast, even on this podcast, and you'll notice I'll get tongue-tied. But when I slow down and I am intentional with my words, it's a little easier, and I think it's probably easier for you guys to take it in. So speak more slowly. And make more eye contact, not in an aggressive way, but in a present, engaged way. Because eye contact communicates that you believe that you deserve to be in the conversation and that what you're saying is important, that you are seated at the table with everybody else, and you are present in the room. And lastly, move intentionally and notice that when you make yourself physically small, crossing your arms, sitting curled inward, hunched over, you know, just resting your hand, let's say on your arms or your hands in front of you, or even stepping back when you should be stepping forward. Try to gently correct that because those are also small ways where we're not taking forward action. We're stepping back. And it seems like we're trying to sell tell ourselves that we're not allowed to be there in that space. But you are allowed to take up that space. Okay, two more layers to go, ladies. Layer number four is to regulate the inner critic. You're not going to eliminate the inner critic, so don't even try. The inner critic, unfortunately, is there to stay, and he or she is going to rear, uh, rear their ugly head and pop up when you least expect it and when you don't want them to. So I want you to set that expectation right now. I've seen too many women over time exhaust themselves trying to silence the voice intentionally and permanently, and that's fundamentally part of the human physiological architecture, right? Like the goal is not to necessarily silence the critic. The goal is to stop giving the inner critic the deciding vote. Because it may pop into your head, but you've got to be able to override it. The negative thoughts or the self-doubt may creep in, you've got to be able to dispel it. So here's a three-step process that I use with my clients, and that I try to engage them to practice on a routine and consistent basis. So step number one is to name it. When the critical voice shows up, name it. Give it a character, and that sometimes helps you identify it. So some of my clients might call it the committee or my inner Karen, or simply the fear voice, but naming it creates distance. It reminds you that this voice is not you. It's a pattern running in your mind. It's something else. It's that critic over there saying that you can't do this. So say that's the fear voice. I hear you, and you are not in charge right now. Step number two is interrogate it. Ask, is this actually true? And remember, two things can be true at the same time. But what is the evidence for and against what this voice is saying? In most cases, the inner critic is operating on feeling and assumption, not fact. When you bring it into the light of honest inquiry, it loses a great deal of power. Because that inner critic is the bully that does not do well with direct questioning. So interrogate it. And step number three is redirect it. Replace the critical statement with something accurate and kind, like we've talked about. Not fake. Not, oh, I am so amazing and nothing is ever going to stop me. No, we can't just say that. I mean, it may be true, you are probably amazing, and I do believe that nothing is really gonna stop us, but that's a little too idealistic. So say something true, like, I don't know for certain how this will go, but I'm going to try. Or I have done difficult things before, but I have the resources to handle this. Or even simply, this feeling is uncomfortable, but I am not in danger. So be sure to redirect those thoughts. Okay. And lastly, layer number five, build a confidence practice, not just a confident moment. You do not want to just have the moment. And don't get me wrong, those small moments are going to create the habit and build over time. But you have to think intentionally that you are building a practice. This is something you're not just going to do today because you happen to be listening to me tell you to do this, and today you're thinking this is such a great idea, which I know it is, but oh, such a great idea, and I'll do this today, and then tomorrow you go right back to what you were doing before. Like, no, you have to intentionally think, I am going to make this change. This is going to be a practice. Because the women that I have watched transform their confidence most profoundly are not the ones who had a single breakthrough moment. They are the ones who built a daily practice that made confidence the default rather than the exception. And here is what that practice looks like. You ready? Morning intention. Each morning, it's identifying one thing you're going to do today or that day that requires courage. And it does not have to be large, it just has to be real. So you get up in the morning and you think about it. It's planning, it's intentional. It's about evening reflection. Each evening recording three things you did well that day. Not three perfect things, three things you genuinely are proud of or pleased with. And over time, this rewires your attention, that bias that you have in your head, away from what went wrong that day and toward what you did right. Another thing, the weekly wins. Each week, so right, we have morning, we have evening, and now each week we break down and write down three wins from the week. Really think about what did you win, what did you accomplish? And include the things that scared you. Because believe it or not, I can guarantee you there's probably something that you were skeptical about or fearful fearful of during that week that you actually broke through and did it anyway, or went through and you're pleased with the outcome. So include things that you didn't do perfectly or that didn't go perfectly, but that you attempted anyway and what the outcome was. And that the attempt is actually the win. Because regardless of what the outcome was from that intention, remember we're talking about the action steps. It's about you taking that step anyway, even through the fear, because that is what the confidence is. And that's how the confidence builds by doing that repeatedly. And lastly, celebrate completion, not perfection. Every time you finish something you are afraid of, acknowledge it. Say, okay, that was scary. I attempted it anyway. I tried anyway, I did it anyway. And say it out loud if it's possible. And I know it's not always, but if you can do it, be like, I did that. I just did that. Because sometimes it sounds small when we say it in our head. And until you really build up that confidence and you can really hear that inner voice that's talking positively to yourself, until you can trust yourself with your own thoughts, sometimes saying it out loud actually helps to create the practice too. Because that's how the brain forms new associations and begins to build the practice of the action and then the reward. And over time, with these layers and these action steps, the confidence is going to start coming and you're going to feel and experience the shift. Okay, ladies, I'm going to stop there because I think we've talked about a lot of really important information. And I think you have the gist of what we need to focus on this week and what your takeaways are as we move forward. But please stay tuned next week as we continue our talks about confidence building and building that practice. And we're going to talk about more action steps that we can take, and we're even going to have a journaling exercise to work on. So there's going to be a little bit of homework in there for lack of a better term, but it's going to be really important as we move forward in building your confidence and creating the inner trust that you need to take the actions you need to create the life that you want. So please stay tuned next week. And for those of you who are still listening, I want to share with you what I talked about in the beginning of the podcast episode, a special initiative that I've been working on. One of the reasons I've been a little MIA over the last couple of weeks, although I'm back, and it's something I'm really proud of and excited to share. So I just want you to hold on one more minute and bear with me as I tell you about something that is built exactly for women just like you. And it is called the Tiaras and Lipstick Collective. And it is a coaching membership, but unlike all the others out there, and here's what makes it different. Because every single week I ask the women inside the membership what they are dealing with, what they want to talk about. And whatever the majority of the women are navigating through, whatever the issues and concerns are that they bring up, is what becomes that week's coaching focus. So there's no pre-packaged curriculum. There's no, this is what I'm going to talk about, even though it may not be relative to what's going on in your life. I'm going to try to navigate through the membership based on the women in it. So there's no content that you will ever need to quote unquote finish. It's just about real responsive coaching built around your actual life. It's not a course, it's not a book, it's an experience. And I'm launching it this fall, and the wait list is open. It's open right now. And when you join the wait list, you get first access. I have a founding membership where you get special pricing that's locked in for life. And you get an invitation to a free live masterclass before we open the doors. I'm only taking 25 founding seats because, like I said, I'm really trying to be intentional and I'm not sure how many responses I'm going to get. So I'm hoping it doesn't become too overwhelming because I have a timeline and I'm trying not to lock the doors or close the doors too early. But just so you know, just go to tiarasandlipstick.com or better yet, tiaras and list lipstick.com slash forward slash event. And you can actually um just sign up for the wait list. And once you get your name in, you'll get first access before it goes to the public so that you can um, if you've been following me, I'd love to follow, I'd love to get the women who follow me to get into the membership and possibly even be some of the founding members so we can continue the work on a more deeper level. And I think it's built for the women who may want some personal one-on-one coaching and maybe quite aren't ready for that yet. So this is that next step. And I've been hearing from women more and more how they love the coaching groups that I've been working in, some of the speaking engagements that I've been doing, and some of even the podcasts and exercises that we're talking about. So I'm really excited. So just check it out to RsandLipstick.com forward slash event, and you can read a little bit about it and jump on the waiting list. And I'm gonna try to drop some more details and give you more information as time goes on. So it's gonna be an exciting time right now listening to the podcast, and an exciting time as we move forward um through the summer, because we're preparing for something really, really special in the fall. So that's it, ladies. I know sorry I ran so long today, but I figured I'd I you deserved a long episode today after I've been off for a couple of weeks, working behind the scenes, but still off and not talking with you. And I've missed you, so I'm glad that I'm back, and I'm hoping that you're glad that I'm back. So that's it, ladies. That's it for the week. Go out there, take those action steps, build that. confidence, listen to this podcast again and tune in next week as we continue to talk about the important work we're doing to change the way you live and to change and transform how you've moved forward in your lives to create the life you want and deserve. All right ladies go out there and have a fabulous weekend