You're Not an Imposter. The Room Just Wasn't Built for You.

You led the meeting. You hit the deadline. You signed the permission slip, packed the lunch, answered the email, managed the crisis — and made it all look effortless.  And somewhere between the parking lot and your front door, a thought crept in that you'd never say out loud: "One of these days, they're going to figure out I have no idea what I'm doing."

I’m pretty sure we have all heard that all so familiar voice at one time or another.  Perhaps those weren’t the exact words you heard, but another variation of it.  Either way, that voice is the same; and that voice has a name — imposter syndrome.  It is a liar.

Here is the sad truth about this liar — it has a particular obsession with women like you. Not women who are receding, but women who are excelling. Women who are leading, building, producing, and carrying way more than they should. Women who have a trail of evidence proving their competence and still feel like they're faking it.

Here's what makes imposter syndrome so dangerous: it doesn't show up as insecurity. Not for women like us. It shows up as overworking. It shows up as over-preparing for every meeting because you're terrified of being caught off guard. It shows up as saying yes to things you should decline because you believe you still need to prove yourself. It shows up as never celebrating a win because you've already moved on to the next thing you might fail at.

What Does Imposter Syndrome Look Like?

It looks like high performance, but it feels like survival. And here is the thing that took me years to understand — both as a woman in executive leadership and as a coach who sits across from brilliant women every week: You are not an imposter. You are a woman performing at a high level in environments that were not originally designed for you to lead in.  Imposter syndrome is what happens when a competent woman measures herself against a standard she was never meant to meet — one that was built without her in mind.

This is a very critical distinction. Because when you understand that the discomfort you feel isn't a reflection of your ability — it's a reflection of a system that still hasn't fully made room for you — everything shifts and your confidence increases. Because confidence is not the absence of fear.  It's the decision to trust yourself more than you trust your doubt. You don't need to feel confident to act confident. You need to act first — and let the confidence catch up. 

And when it does… You stop trying to earn a seat you already have. You stop shrinking to make other people comfortable with your competence. You stop asking "who am I to do this?" and start asking "why wouldn't it be me?"  That's not arrogance, which is what many have labeled this type of thinking… That's your crown — adjusted and sitting exactly where it belongs. 👑 

I recorded a full podcast episode on this — titled “Beating Imposter Syndrome: The Lie That Follows Successful Women Everywhere”.  It drops this week and is a deeper conversation about this topic. In it, I unpack where imposter syndrome actually comes from, why it specifically targets high-achieving women in midlife and leadership, and I walk you through practical strategies to start dismantling it. Not with affirmations, but with real tools you can use this week.

If anything in this newsletter made your chest tighten or your eyes sting a little — that episode was made for you.

Listen to "Beating Imposter Syndrome: The Lie That Follows Successful Women Everywhere" on the Kamara Speaks podcast — available wherever you listen to podcasts. Or, visit tiarasandlipstick.com/podcast to listen in from the web. 

Until next time, adjust your crown and keep walking. 👑

Kamara, CPLC, MBA 

Certified Professional Life Coach | Founder, Tiaras and Lipstick, LLC

P.S. — You know a woman who needs to hear this. She's the one who never asks for help, never drops a ball, and never believes her own praise. Send her this newsletter. Then send her the episode. Sometimes the reminder has to come from outside her own head.